Imposter Syndrome is a story

If I hear the word Imposter Syndrome one more time I am going to eifjsloghsfldgjoafklangjfnsl!!!

First off, the GALL we have to call it a syndrome?? We are not sick, people. We are just experiencing very normal, very common emotions otherwise known as our dear friends: anxiety, doubt and perfectionism. Hi.

Because when we look under the hood that’s exactly what we’ll find. Sometimes we don’t even know what experiencing, all we know is that it feels freaking GROSS and we want it to go away.

I’ll be honest, the most difficult part of the last 3 years for me was naming and figuring out what these new-ish feelings and thoughts I was having that were all fear centered. I’m pretty proud to say that I spent most of my 20s and 30s building up my confidence and self-esteem. I was in a GREAT place in 2019. But when the pandemic unraveled everything I thought I was…I was in trouble. These doubts were so foreign to me I had trouble even talking to my therapist about them because whenever she would ask what thoughts were going through my mind, I really didn’t know. I just knew I was gripped by new fears of going into elevators, traversing grocery stores and god forbid meet people in person. We had to retrain ourselves to learn new behaviors and instincts for survival, and when it’s literally for survival, it’s not gonna be so easy to revert back. And know that you are not alone if you are still working through this.

OK but back to this “syndrome.”

What I’ve learned is that although the feelings are very real and may feel very complex, what lies beneath is very simple: it’s a story.

It’s a story of not being skilled enough.

Not having enough experience.

Not having enough know-how.

Now having enough charm/charisma/insert pleasantry here.

Not having enough. Period.

So how do we combat this story?

With another story.

A story of everything can be figured out.

A story of having resources.

A story of having good instincts.

A story of having curiosity.

A story of doing the damn thing anyway.

And this is the real meaning of “faking it, til you make it.” You don’t just proclaim HEY I AM GOOD ENOUGH! (although please do that too).

You get down and dirty. You put your pride aside and you ASK and you TRY and you FAIL and you TRY all over again until you get it. Sure, you might annoy some people along the way, sure you might use up more time than you had planned, but YOU WILL GET THERE.

You’re not special. We have all felt this at some point in our life. Now let’s go fake our way to the top.